Sep 25, 20213 min read

Our story of Infertility

This is Benjamin Leo. He was born after 22 years of infertility.

Charlie and I love children. I had a 4-year-old son when he married me, but we longed for a child together. We wanted more children. We spent six out of the first ten years of our marriage trying to figure out why we couldn't conceive. He got checked; I got checked. The doctors told us that we both had what it took, so we tried and tried. I even tried Clomid. Clomid is a medication that stimulates an increase in the number of hormones that support the growth and release of mature eggs. Well, that was short-lived. I was only on it for three days. One afternoon while I was walking down the stairs, I had a sudden stroke of blindness. The darkness only lasted 45 seconds, but it was terrifying. Vision changes while taking Clomid is a known side effect. Oh, the things we will do when we want a baby. That was the end of that for me. We kept trying on our own.

Cycles, taking my temperature, praying, and hoping while laying. My body would trick me; at least, it felt like a trick. I got to the point that every month when it was time for me to menstruate, my breasts would swell, I would get nauseated, and I wouldn't start. I would get excited and take a pregnancy test. It came back negative every.single.time for 15 years. In the meantime, we became foster parents. We really love children, even other people's children. That came with its own set of big problems. The stress from fostering started affecting my health. So we stopped fostering. We carried on with our lives. Wanting a baby with Charlie was never far from my mind. I had conceived and given birth before, why couldn't I do it again?

Time marched on.

I had been overweight my whole adult life, but I was in a phase of my life where I decided to take the time to take care of myself. I lost 40 pounds. I was walking, doing aerobics, drinking wheatgrass juice, and was more relaxed than I had been in 20 years. Our first granddaughter, from my son, was born. Then, a few years later, I felt pregnant again. I thought my body was playing tricks, but no period, so after a few weeks, I got a test, and it came back...... positive!! We were in disbelief.

Then...a few short days later, something was happening. I was cramping and started bleeding. I was losing the baby. Why was this incredible gift being lost? I felt like a failure.

Our granddaughter Isabella

Then two years later, the announcement of another grand-baby. We were thrilled with the arrival of another beautiful granddaughter. When we got home from the hospital that evening, Charlie said to me, "one regret I have in my life is that I never had my own child." My heart broke. I said, a little jokingly, but not, "well, honey, I'm only 44; we could go through infertility testing again and maybe try invitro? He said, "no, our granddaughters are enough for me." Little did we know that at that time, while we were having that conversation, I was two weeks pregnant with Benjamin. When I realized I needed to take a pregnancy test again, and it showed positive, I felt scared that I would lose the baby like I did the last one. I tried hard to enjoy each day being with child. After all we had waited 22 years.

My belly kept getting bigger and bigger. My ultrasounds looked good. One technician even told us, "your baby looks perfect." I figured she should know, but because I was 44 years old, I knew the baby was at high risk for birth defects. I wouldn't allow the doctor to take my amniotic fluid to check. We were taking what we were getting, and I didn't want any undue complications. I developed gestational diabetes, which was uncomfortable, but well worth it for this incredible experience. Because of my age and the diabetes, the doctor took Benjamin a few days early. That incredible day would change our lives for the good, forever.

Dad cutting the umbilical cord